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When Is It Okay to Say No to Caregiving for Dad?

Caregiver Stress in Milford CT

Caregiver StressPerhaps you begin taking care of your mother a long time ago when she had a heart attack or was dealing with certain issues. Your father did what he could, but he was in no position to really help out too much, especially with your mother’s physical needs.

While it might’ve been an uncomfortable situation at times for you and maybe even for your mother, you wouldn’t have traded that experience for anything in the world. Now, though, with your mother gone your father is showing signs of having difficulty taking care of himself.

The last thing you want to do is be his caregiver, but perhaps a family member, some friends, or even your spouse is wondering why you’re not as willing to take care of him as you were your mother.

It’s okay to say no.

Your mother became ill and was dealing with certain challenges, you might never have even thought twice about offering your assistance. Your parents lived not too far away, you’re only working a part-time job, and it seemed to make sense that you were there for her.

Over the years, though, you realized just how much work went into being a caregiver for an elderly individual, even a family member. You also realized you were ill-equipped to handle a lot of situations that arose. You did your best to get through them, but the last thing you want is to deal with that again.

The stress you felt as your mother’s primary caregiver was tremendous and it took you quite a while after she passed to get back into some type of routine and activities you enjoy in life. Now your father needs help.

However, your father is a completely different situation.

He’s much bigger than your mother and the physical toll of supporting him would be tremendous. Your body simply can’t handle it. He’s also the opposite sex and while you may have felt uncomfortable at first helping her mother get into and out of the shower on occasion, you don’t want to go through that with your father.

When you realize the value of home care aides and how they can help your father in these difficult times, you can quickly understand why it’s simply okay to say no to being a caregiver for him.

You don’t have to feel guilty; if he relies on a home care aide he’s going to be in great hands. If he refuses outside assistance, that shouldn’t change your mind; he is making a decision and that doesn’t mean you have to be the hero to step in and care for him.

If you or an aging loved one are considering home care in Milord, CT, please contact the caring staff at SYNERGY HomeCare. Call today (203) 713-8446.

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Valerie VanBooven RN BSN

Editor in Chief at Approved Senior Network
Valerie is a Registered Nurse and long-term care expert. She has published 4 books on caring for aging adults and is the Editor in Chief of HomeCareDaily.com and ApprovedSeniorNetwork.com
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